Thanks for the kind words and encouragement and mostly thanks so much for not lecturing me about what I am going through. It is just one of those times when you just don't feel like things are going well even though you know you are trying. After a while it just starts to wear on you.
Fortunately, tonight was a good night. I had a good run. Not a great run, but it was good and I needed that. I basically did a 5K. Knowing that I could do 3 miles again was encouraging, and if Lisa was right with her comment, that should mean I will have no problem with the 10K on Monday since it is about 15-20 degrees cooler in Macon than it is here in the mornings. Right now the forecast says the temp for Monday morning is 67. SIXTY-FREAKIN'-SEVEN!! I'm so excited.(If you couldn't tell) It will probably be between 70 and 75 when I am running but that is awesome too. I haven't had a run below 85 in months and the last few weeks it has been 90 or 95 while I was running. Tonight it was around 94 when we went out. I felt good. I took it slow and my husband had water for me this time. I know that I can do better than I did tonight because my time at the last 5K(which I struggled at) was about ten minutes faster than tonight. That is giving me some hope because I felt really good after the run tonight. Knowing that it will be cooler and that the course is mostly down hill, I'm feeling more confident and more excited about the run on Monday.
Right now my plan is to get in a short easy run Thursday night after I get into GA just to see how I feel, see how the different temps feel and to just get one more run in before the race. Then I'm just going to take it easy until the race. I'll be on my feet a good bit on Friday so Saturday and Sunday will be lazy days. The reason I will be on my feet Friday is because I am going dress shopping with my best friend back home. I'm getting more excited about the big party too. I LOVE my dress. I can't wait until the next payday so I can pay it off and go pick it up. I'm so excited to find something gorgeous for her. We will also be on the search for some killer shoes to go along with mine. It's just so nice to be happy and excited when I think about the upcoming event instead of beginning to dread it like I was.
I'm starting to feel a little more like myself. I think I just needed to get it all out there and then have a decent workout again. Honestly, the weight loss plateau was not bothering me nearly as much while I was still getting good workouts in, but as soon as those started sucking it just all hit me like a ton of bricks. Having one thing back on track makes me feel like getting everything else back is possible. I'm also changing my outlook and expectations for the coming months. I have a lot of races coming up. A 10K next week, a 10 miler in Oct and a half marathon in November. My goal for the Disney races have changed. Now I just want to finish. I was trying to push myself to be able to run the entire 13.1 miles. I'm starting to realize I have been putting too much pressure on myself and now I am focusing more on the walk/run method and just making sure that I get my pace down enough to stay ahead of the balloons.(For those unfamiliar with Disney races, the balloons are tied to the race pacers, and if they pass you, you are in danger of being picked up. I know, I followed that witch for my last mile of the race this year. No matter how hard I willed it, she never tripped so I could catch up. Haha)
Now that I am not planning to go home for my high-school reunion, I will be able to participate in the Army Shadow 10 miler here. I'm a little nervous but I know that I can do it even if I end up walking most of it. I still have 5 months to get ready for the Tink so I am not going to kill myself for an untimed race. Then it will be the Run to Remember in November which will be my first official half marathon. Once again, I'm not going to push too hard because I am just using it as a reading of where I am. That way I know how much I have to do to be able to keep pace for the Tink. One of the things that I love about races here is that there is no time limit. You don't feel as much pressure and they don't care how long it takes you to get done. It will be a great way to gauge my progress and see how far I have to go.
Things are getting back on track. I really just want to thank you for your support and understanding that sometimes you just need to get something off your chest. Like I've said before, there is a reason the word battle is in the title of my blog. This journey is not an easy one and sometimes I may feel like I've lost a battle or two. The point is to move forward and win the war.
I will be healthier, I will get fit, and I will be the woman that I have always wanted to be.
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