You can fly! You can fly! You can fly!

It's hard to believe that a week ago I was in California getting ready to run the Tinkerbell Half Marathon. I was excited to be at Disneyland but I was also terrified of the task ahead. 

My mom and I arrived in California on Friday afternoon. It had been a first for my mom. She had never flown before or been farther west than Texas. We got settled into your hotel and grabbed some lunch in the hotel restaurant then we headed over to the expo. I had to pick up the packet for a friend of mine as well as my own. It took me a little while to figure out where I need to go but once I got downstairs there were very few people there and I was able to get everything taken care of quickly.  I was happy to see that I was in corral c.  I knew this gave me a little extra time. I was so worried about being swept and I wanted all the cushion I could get. I went back upstairs and found my mom so that we could checkout the vendors in the expo.  We went to see what the official merchandise was like and grab a few things. As I looked around I found the "I did it!" shirts and I couldn't decide if I should buy one or not. I was superstitious about buying the shirt that said i did it before I had actually completed the race.  Even though i was confident I knew that there was still a possibility that I would be swept so I put the shirt back and found another. I actually liked it better because it is much more understated. 

We decided to take it easy that night and grab dinner in Downtown Disney. We went and bought our park tickets, then headed up to bed to call it a night. We went to bed really early because we were still operating on eastern time but that meant we were able to get up early the next morning and go to the parks. Around lunch I met up with Melissa from 13 going on crazy in our hotel lobby to pick up the kt tape that I had won from her give away.  My mom and I decided to go to the expo one more time to pick up a few things I had forgotten. After lunch, we met up with Meghan and Andrew at the hotel. In a lot of ways, it is all Meghan's fault that I decided to do the Tink in the first place. She is the one that posted the picture of the t-shirt with a quote from John Bingham that started it all. She is the reason I signed up for the princess last year and found the determination and motivation to start running.  

We had reserved picnics for world of color that night so we met up in the park to grab food and find a spot to watch the show. It was truly awesome and a great way to get my mind off my nerves. After watching the fireworks from the balcony of the hotel we swapped cell numbers and set up runner tracking, then called it a night. I had to get up early. One of the best things about the race was how close  our hotel was to the start. That meant I didn't have to get up nearly as early as at the Princess.  I met Meghan at around 0430 to head over to the start. When they started letting people into the corrals Meghan went off to B and I headed to C. I  made sure I was as close to the front as I could be. I wanted to make sure I gave myself as much time as possible. Waiting around was brutal but I chatted with a few people near me. My main thing was trying to stay warm. Every now and then, the announcers would come on the video screen and try to keep us pepped up. It was cool finding out that Sean Astin(Samwise Gamgee in LOTR) was running with us.  Then they had someone sing the National Anthem while shooting off fireworks at appropriate times, successfully making me cry and miss my husband that much more. The elite runners left followed soon by Meghan and the rest of corral B. The race got off to a late start but finally it was our turn and off I went. 

The beginning is always chaos. Thousands of runners trying to get through and find their pace. The road we were on was just outside of the park and we headed to the back of Disneyland before entering it. I had picked up an interval timer at the expo and had a little trouble finding the best place to wear it so for my first miles or so I was a little slower. In reality that was a good thing because it kept me from starting too fast and burning out.  I wasn't expecting the hills in the first part of the course or how little entertainment there would be outside of the park.  I was glad once we entered Disneyland. It was pretty cool seeing the backlot area of the park. However, I was disappointed with how little there seemed to be along the course in the park.  All of the princesses that were out were all on one float and there were only 3 of them. I understand this was the Tinkerbell not the princess but Tinkerbell and her fairy friends were no where to be found. The course made it's way through the park and we headed towards Main Street. I was excited about this part because of the experience I had last year. It was not the same. At Disney World, the street is lined with cast members waving and cheering you on. Here, there was no one. We ran down around and back through the castle. 

I wasn't using my phone to track my run so I had no way of knowing my pace. As I passed each mile, I would check the clock and do the math. I was shocked that I was staying on pace even though I had a slow start. I felt good about the race but I was still really nervous. There was still a long way to go. We made our way out of the park and into Downtown Disney and that's where I knew I would have my first chance to see my mom. I knew she would be able to just walk downstairs and find a spot near the hotel to see me as I ran by. At first I wasn't sure she would be out there as I ran by the hotel and didn't see her. Then I finally saw her and made my way out of Downtown Disney. Next, I was on the streets of Anaheim and that's all there was for the next 7 and a half miles. There were no photographers, no characters, and very little entertainment. They had cheerleading squads and dance teams but most of them were simply standing and waving as we went by. 

That's when the race got really hard. There was nothing to distract me and I was left alone with my thoughts. I was paranoid and every time I passed a parked bus, my blood pressure went up. I felt like I was slowing down and running out of steam. Every time I ran up an incline or around a corner, I would try to look behind me to see how many people were there and if I could see a bus. In downtown Anaheim,  I was finally able to see the field behind me.  The course ran around a block and back. There was about 0.4 of a mile between me and the runners that were just starting the block. I was able to see that there were still LOTS of people behind me. That was probably the first time that I really felt like I was going to be able to finish. I got a little emotional when the realization hit me. I also knew that I was very quickly approaching the 8 mile mark and that was a big deal since 8 miles is where I was picked up last year. I'm not gonna lie I cried a little as I passed the mile marker. I had my camera with me and I took a video as I passed the marker and then shot behind me to show there were still people there. As much as that helped my mood, that area was probably the hardest  of the race. As we got deeper into Anaheim I begin to lose my motivation and feel defeated. I still had over 4 miles to go and I felt like I was losing steam I finally reached the 9 mile mark and soon after the nutrition station. I grabbed a gu and a cup of water and kept going. As i ran on I felt like I would never reach the park again. 

I knew if i could just reach California Adventures, I would be home free but I was beginning to feel like we would never get there.  I had my first experience with biofreeze around 11 miles. My right shoulder was cramping up and I figured it couldn't hurt to put some on my shins too. Unfortunately I put a little too much on my legs and then I was freezing. I pushed forward knowing we had to be close to the park. I did have one very annoying encounter. There was a woman that was being very obnoxious. She was running with a friend who is overweight and slower like me but she was skinny an obviously ran a lot. While she was beside her friend she was dancing around as she ran. Then she would sprint ahead and run back. Every time she ran by me I wanted to trip her. I really wanted to stop her and explain to her that what she was doing was not making her friend feel any better it was probably making it worse. Fortunately we were getting closer to the park again and I regained my focus. It was almost perfect timing because as we rounded the last corner before the park, someone was holding a sign that said, "Just keep swimming." It made me smile and gave me a little boost. 

Finally, I was running into the back of California Adventures. I was on the home stretch. I got a little emotional again as I was running through the streets of the park. It didn't take long run through the park and then back into the back lot area.  I was finally in the last mile. I was going to make it. My feet hurt and I was tired but the end was near. Even though I knew this, it didn't all hit me until we came out of the back lot area and I saw my mom, Meghan and Andrew. There was Meghan,  jumping up and down and her Tinkerbell outfit. I couldn't help it.  I was overcome with emotion and I ran over to her to get a big hug. That's when I broke down crying. I knew I was gonna make it. I knew I was going to finish this time. I was crying. Meghan was crying. And I was about to finish. 

Meghan sent me on my way and told me to get it done. I ran off down the street, turned the corner and saw the 13 mile sign. Then I was there. I could see the finish line. I composed myself to cross and then I was done. I did it.  I finished a half marathon. I went over to receive my medal and find my way to the reunion area. I waited for a phone call from my husband. I signed him up to receive emails from the runner tracking and he was suppose to call a soon as I was done. Of course, when my phone rang, I began to cry. He told me how proud he was of me and I told him how much I missed seeing him at the finish. 

Without him, none of this would have been possible. He didn't call me crazy when I said I was going to do a half marathon. He never told me I couldn't do it. He trained with me. Pushed me, let me cry when I was frustrated and was always there with a smile and a high five when I completed a workout. He walked 5ks with me and rode his bike as I ran when he had a stress fracture. He was there with me every step of the way, when he could be. When he couldn't, he always told me how proud he is of me. He tells me that I can do anything. And finally, I believe him. My life is changing and I am becoming a new person. And though I do it for me, I also do it for him.

As much as Mac is my strength and biggest supporter, it was someone else that got me into all of this mess. Meghan started it all by asking if there was anyone that wanted to do the Princess Half with her in 2011. I thought it would be fun but didn't have the guts to sign up until I saw the picture and the quote. "The miracle isn't that I finished, it is that I had the courage to start."-John Bingham. That gave me the courage to start and God gave me a wonderful friend in her. It's very weird to feel such a strong connection to a person that you've only seen twice in the flesh. The first time I ever met her in person was at last years princess and the second was last week in California. But that baffles me because I feel like I have known her forever and that if I ever needed anything, all I have to do is call. 

I spent the rest of my time there enjoying time with a dear friend, hanging out with my mom and soaking up the California sun. We kept trying to wear down Andrew so that he would let Meghan be my team mate at the Expedition Everest Challenge in May. Though we may not have gotten anywhere on that one, a reunion is in the works for the Wine and Dine half weekend. I am so excited about that possibility because if all goes well, my husband will be running it with me. 

So now I go forward and try to prepare for the Princess. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that after this month, I will have completed two half marathons and earned a coast to coast medal. Who knows, maybe I'm even confident enough now to buy the "I did it!" shirt at the Princess Expo. 

We'll see...

____________________________

You Can Fly!
From "Peter Pan"
Music and Lyrics by Sammy Fain and Sammy Cahn

Think of a wonderful thought
Any merry little thought
Think of Christmas, think of snow
Think of sleigh bells
Off you go like reindeer in the sky

You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly!

Think of the happiest things
It's the same as having wings
Take the path that moonbeams make
If the moon is still awake
You'll see him wink his eye
You can fly, you can fly!
You can fly!
Up you go with a heigh and ho
To the stars beyond the blue
There's a Never Land waiting for you
Where all your happy dreams come true
Every dream that you dream will come true

When there's a smile in your heart
There's no better time to start
Think of all the joy you'll find
When you leave the world behind
And bid your cares goodbye
You can fly, you can fly!
You can fly, you can fly!
You can fly! 

I did it!!!

This post will be short and sweet because it is late and I'm exhausted but i wanted to share the good news.

I completed my first half marathon today.

I'll post more about my experience when i get home.

Back on track!

Ok, so it has been a while since I have posted, sorry! Things have been crazy ever since Mac left. He has now officially been gone for a month(Wow, that's hard to believe.) Between finding my new normal and being sick it's been hard. The last time I really ran was the 3 mile run the weekend after he left. I didn't do my 2 weekly runs and then I was sick as a dog the weekend that I was supposed to run 6 miles. Getting over the virus and and Thanksgiving made it hard to run the 2 weekly runs that week and then a head cold knocked me out that weekend. I felt horrible but I wasn't sure what to do. I knew my training plan had a 7 mile run on the schedule for the first weekend in Dec. but since it had been so long since I ran, I was scared. Plus I was going to be in Florida at Disney World that weekend.

I decided to try to get a long run in before I did too much walking at the parks. I arrived in FL on Wednesday night and my friend Rachel wasn't getting there until Friday night so Friday I decided to give it a shot. I wasn't sure how it would go but my goal was to get the distance in, even if i had to walk the last few miles of it. I took my vibrams with me on the trip. It has been a while since I ran in them but I decided to give it a shot. I knew if
I needed to I could run by the room and swap to my NB minimus. I decided to use the little running trail in front of the All-Star resorts(i stayed at AS Sports) since it was about a mile long and there weren't really any people on it. I decided to shorten my intervals since it had been a while and I had been having a little trouble with my run interval feeling too long at the end of each run.

Well, I did it. I ran every interval and and actually felt good after. As soon as I was done and sat down for a minute, my feet were killing me but I felt good on the run. It was also a little surreal running there. Knowing that I was running half of the distance I will be repeating there in a few months. I caught myself tearing up towards the end of my run because I felt like I can do it. Like if I had to do the half tomorrow, I could. It wouldn't be great but that I could finish. It gives me hope, which I need a lot of right now. The Tinkerbell is in less than 50 days now. I'm still nervous about it since my training is leading up to the princess not the Tink. The tink is listed on there and the day of the race would be a 12.5 mile run. The Tink isn't much longer than that I just worry about my time. I pray that I can actually do it fast enough. My pace on the 7 miles was better than I expected. It wasn't great but it was ok. I loved running in my vibrams again. I love those shoes so much, but I am still unsure that I will be able to run in them for the half because I just need the little extra cushion that the minimus offers but I know that once the weight is off, I will go back to my beloved VFF Bikilas for the majority of my runs.

I just feel like it is all sneaking up on me. Both races are right around the corner and I am no where near where I wanted to be physically. I'm hoping I can get things moving again. I have the motivation of being reunited with my husband in 9 months for R&R and wanting his jaw to hit the floor when he sees me. I really want things to be different next year when he comes home.

Anyway, I'm glad to be back on schedule. I have still had a few problems getting my short weekly runs in but I am trying to figure that out. It's a little hard figuring out how to run in the cold and what is the best time for me to do it. Tomorrow I will be doing my 3 mile run from this weekend.Now to just keep moving forward and do the best I can.

I am a Penguin

A while back I wrote the post Embrace your Pace. I received a comment on it about the penguin runners but had no idea what they were and didn't bother to look it up at the time. Part of me wishes I had but then another part is glad I didn't because I think finding them now was the best thing.

Back in September, I reposted a post I had written last year when I decided to do the 2011 Princess. In the post I talked about how a picture of a shirt with a quote was what really gave me the kick to make the decision. The quote was,

The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start. -John J. Bingham.

I think I may have passingly noticed that it had a little picture of a penguin by his name but I didn't really pay much attention to it.

Then, last month, I was scouring the internet looking for a shirt that a girl posted to an online group. I was using the expo vendors list for the wine and dine to check each website to see if I could figure out who had the shirt for her. One of the websites I looked at was One More Mile Running. While I was checking their site I noticed on the right side bar a picture of a penguin and the words penguin gear beneath it. I was intrigued so I opened it in a new tab and continued searching with intentions to go back and check it out later. Once I had given up on my search, I clicked the tab to check out what Penguin Gear was. As I read the little blurb at the top I was even more interested:

One More Mile partners with John "The Penguin" Bingham!
One More Mile and John Bingham have the same philosophy: that running is more about having fun and less about putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Now you can get Penguin gear from One More Mile! 

And then, when I clicked on the shirts, there it was, the shirt and quote that started it all. I had to know more so I clicked on the link for John Bingham's website.  As I read What is a Penguin? I knew I had found my place. As I read through "You might be a Penguin if... " I had to laugh because I knew the feeling all too well with the police car, the truck with the cones and the award ceremony. It felt good to find all of this. It reminded me that I am not alone in my fight. There are lots of people out there that aren't the best runners but still run. Just because I am slow, doesn't mean I am not a runner.

With all of this, I have wholeheartedly embraced that I AM A PENGUIN!! Mac and I visited Sea World recently and they had these awesome car decals of all the animals, one of course being a penguin. I plan to cut off the Sea World Logo and just put the penguin on the car with my turtle sticker. I'm sure at some point I will get a shirt or magnet from Penguin Gear. I've always loved penguins, so it almost feels fitting.

This of course leads me to something I alluded to in the last post. I have decided on my running costume for both races. Hehehe. I already have things in the works to transform this everyday runner into a real penguin runner.  You'll have to wait until after the Tinkerbell to see a pic of the fairy penguin but I am certain it will be well worth the wait. Then with a few small changes she will turn into a princes penguin for the Princess Half. I'm so incredibly EXCITED!!!

(It feels so good to be excited again.)

If anyone here is a member of Fitocracy and you feel you are a Penguin, feel free to join the Penguin Runners group I started.  If you are not a member of Fitocracy but would like to be, Click Here to use my invite code or give me your email address and I will send you an invite. Fitocracy is a fun way to track all of your activities and connect with others.

Excitement

I'm starting to get excited about the races again. I have been so overwhelmed and frustrated lately that it has been hard. I'm gaining a little more confidence and that has helped. I know one of the reasons is that I am trying to focus more on the fun parts of it all right now instead of thinking about my husbands deployment that starts WAY TOO SOON. I need things to focus on while he is gone so I don't waste too much time missing him and being said. Yes, I will miss him and, yes, I will be sad, but I also need to keep moving forward and reach the goals this deployment that I wanted to last time.

I have so much that I want to talk about but little focus to do it at the moment. I have decided on my costume for both races and I am SO EXCITED but I want to talk about my inspiration for the costume first so that will have to wait until I can get that one written.

It feels really good to be looking forward to all of this again instead of just dreading it. Nothing major has happened to change my outlook, I simply kept moving forward. I still have a long way to go but I am starting to see the possibilities of success instead of just inevitable failure.

Reset

With being home, I knew staying on track was going to be hard and I was right.

I haven't done horribly with my foods but I haven't done well either. I have not tracked points at all and I have been taking advantage of foods that are not available in TX. Tomorrow I am planning to splurge one last time as we stop in New Orleans on the way home. Eating while driving is always a pain especially when you are doing a 15 hour drive straight through. My plan is to really get back on track and improve my eating when we get home. I'm going to try to make sure I start eating breakfast everyday because I still struggle with that. I'm also going to try cooking more and finding more healthy but quick meals.

However, when it comes to running, I have sucked. We only ran one night and I thought I was going to die. The humidity has been so bad that I felt like I couldn't breathe. With all of the driving around and not sleeping much, it has been really hard to get up in the mornings to run. Running at night isn't really a great option because we aren't on post and don't have a good, safe place to run. It's ok though. I'll get back on track when we get home. I think I have a new goal set up now. Something closer so it is easier to work towards than the half in January. I found out about a 10K here in GA on Labor Day. I'm thinking of coming home to run it so that I have a possibly qualifying race time to submit for both Disney races. I need a new race to use since the Army 10 miler shadow is the same weekend as my 10 year high school reunion now. It's nice having something short term to work towards.

I have two big events coming up in the beginning of October. On the 1st, my husband and I are having a party for our 5th anniversary(Sept 30) and the next weekend is my reunion. These two events are sneaking up on me and I want to make a very significant and noticeable difference by then.

Being home has made me stumble a little but it has also given me a new determination. Talking with people and explaining(a million times) about the half marathons and how I got to this point. It really reminded me why I am doing this and that it really is possible. Now I am going home and planning to get much more serious about it all. I am definitely going to figure out where I want to use a pool because swimming the other day reminded me how much I love the water. My mom and I booked our room for the Tink and I registered for the Princess as soon as it opened. Going to the running expo also helped me find some new things that I have been wanting. I'm really excited about where things are going I just know I have taken a few steps back in the last two weeks.

Weekend Review

So I did my second 5K on post this past weekend, the Bunny Hop 5K. I shaved 2 minutes off of my time and my pace was good enough for the half next year even though I walked most of it. It gives me hope that even if I can't run the entire half, I can still finish because I know the walk to run ratio that works out to the right pace now. I am planning on being able to run most of it of course but I am still a long way from that.

The new program is working out great. It's tough but I am doing it and I am feeling stronger. Last night was a tough run but I made it through. this morning was the first time I have woken up sore but I feel good now and I am looking forward to tomorrow night's run.

I can't believe that I am running. I can't believe that my calendar for the next year is quickly filling with races that I want to do, most of which are half marathons. Disney is announcing a new race today and I am actually getting up early just to see what it is and find out when I can register if the rumors are true. I really hope things continue to go as well as they have the last 2 weeks because if they do, my dream may actually become a reality.

Way too excited...

Today has been an exciting day.

First of all, they posted the dates for the 2012 Disney Princess Half Marathon weekend and the day registration will open. In 345 days(Feb 26), I will be back at Disney running my second Princess half and finishing this time. I will register for the race ASAP on July 5th. I'm already making all the plans and such for where we will be staying. I'm very excited about it even though I know a part of me will be sad that my #1 fan won't be there. But I can't think about that right now...

The other thing that I am way too excited about is a very small but very encouraging milestone tonight. Tonight was workout 2 of week 1 of C25K. I can't believe the difference since Wednesday. Wednesday I posted about having some pain in my feet and calves and thinking that I needed new shoes. I was right and wrong all at the same time. I did need to run in different shoes but I didn't have to go out and buy them. I already own them. I'm not going to give you the full details until I know for sure they are going to work out. (I need to try them on a few more runs.) But after tonight, I am very optimistic and hopeful. I completed the work out tonight. I ran every segment and had no pain. One calf tightened up a little at the end but there was no shooting pain like Wednesday. I feel good, not defeated like the other day. I feel hopeful. I feel like I may actually be able to do this.

I know it doesn't seem like all that much to be excited about but I have to celebrate the little victories.