You can fly...(Redemption)

Two years ago, I finished my first half marathon at Tink 2012. It was a bittersweet race because of the triumph of finishing my first half marathon, missing my deployed husband and hating the course. I finished that race but it was not easy. I fought emotions, mental blocks and pain to accomplish the goal that I was unable to accomplish at the 2011 Princess. Before I ran the first Tink, I had plans of running it every year to become a legacy. After completing that inaugural race, I swore I would never run it again unless it was an anniversary year or they offered something worth running it again because I hated the course so much.

In spring of 2013, Run Disney announced the new pink Coast to Coast medal for those runners that completed Tink and Princess in 2014. The funny thing is, I had decided that one Coast to Coast was enough since they don't really change from year to year. All of a sudden, I had a new reason to run Tink and bring home a new Coast to Coast. It also made me sign up for Princess which I was on the fence about, but there was no way I could pass up the new medal and the chance to run the inaugural Glass Slipper Challenge. As I signed up for Tink, my focus was still mainly on Princess. Even though Tink will always hold a special place in my heart as the first half that I completed, I still had a bitter taste in my mouth from the disappointment with the course. 

When they announced the new Tink 10K, I signed up. Even though they weren't offering a challenge, I figured it would be good practice for GSC. Then I was able to talk Rachel, my most reliable cheerleader, into trying the 5K so I signed up for that too. When I trained over the summer, I used a plan that had back to back runs every week so I knew that it would help me prepare. Unfortunately, I did not stick with it like I should after the Rock 'n' Roll half in November. As Tink weekend grew closer, I became more and more nervous about doing all three races. Even as I picked up my packets, all I could think was "What did I get myself into?"

Friday wasn't too bad. I knew I would be walking the 5K with Rachel and not really trying to run at all. I had a fun costume and stopped for one character, Captain Hook. 

It was way too much fun having him react to my costume. As we walked past a boat full of lost boys, it was fun to hear them call out to me. It's things like that that make dressing up for Disney races awesome. I had hoped to have a costume of sorts for the half but time wasn't on my side so all I had was the one for the 5K.

After the 5K, we spent the day in the parks. Then Saturday was the 10K. I was planning to run a little at the beginning and then walk the rest. I never felt good during the race. Something just felt off and people on the course were only making it worse. There were SO MANY PEOPLE. And there weren't enough corrals. The course was always packed and I seemed to be surrounded by extremely crabby runners. I was run into and pushed around continuously and no one ever apologized. There were people bitching about other runners or how the race was conducted or whatever and the negativity made a not so great race worse with every step. Looking at the finishing pics of the 10K I was shocked by the mass of people around me. The entire course was that way. I was so glad to be done and headed straight to the room to get changed. I was freaking out because the 10K was so bad I couldn't imagine any kind of good outcome at the half.  I took it easy the rest of the day to try to rest up for the half. 

I had my traditional pre-race meal after taking a quick nap and then turned in for the night. Through a crazy turn of events, Rachel and I ended up with another roommate for the weekend, Heather, who was also running the half. She was out a little later that night but as soon as I heard her come in, I was asleep. The alarm didn't go off as early as WDW races which is always nice. The hotel we were in was so close to the start it meant we didn't have to rush. I found my way into corral D and found a few people I have known online but never met in person. We chatted a bit as we waited for our corral to start and then we were on our way. 

They have not adopted the new corral system on the west coast so it was very crowded getting started. It forced me to run slower during my 10 minute warm up but I think in the end that was a good thing. We circled the back of Disneyland and then entered a side access heading for California Adventure. There was a down and up that I had already done as part of the 5K on Friday just before we entered the park. It was weird running CA first since it was at the end of the race when I ran it the first year. We headed through the park in the dark but it was cool seeing everything lit up, including the fun wheel and the colored fountains from World of Color.  That was the first thing I snapped a picture of along the course. 

Soon we were running between the parks and I had a chance to see Rachel. I tossed her my running shrug, checked out the poster she had for me and headed into Disneyland. The environment was a lot better at this race compared to the first year. There still weren't many spectators since you had to have a higher level chear squad package there but there were lots more cast members this time. Even in the backlot areas, there were cast members everywhere and they were cheering us on and giving high fives. It was cool seeing Small World still lit up with the Christmas lights  and getting a quick pic of the castle before we ran through it. 

I missed seeing Rachel on my way through Downtown Disney because they were allowing spectators to cross the course by redirecting the runners from side to side of a holding area they had in the middle. Because of that crossing, I was running on the wrong side when I passed her and had no idea. During the first Tink, I remembered seeing the Red Hat Society ladies out in front of the Disneyland Hotel, but I was not prepared for what I saw that morning. There were so many more of them out there this year. They stretched at least a tenth of a mile if not farther down the course as we exited Downtown Disney and began our time in Anaheim. I couldn't help but get emotional as they all cheered and screamed for us. That is one thing unique to the DL races. At WDW, you have lots of spectators but they are mostly family and friends of the runners. In DL, you get groups like the Red Hat ladies that just come and cheer for the heck of it. It was really nice feeling the support of the community. 


Even though I was originally bummed to see that the parks were only at the beginning of the race this year instead of divided up, it turned out to be not so bad. By the time we were heading into Anaheim, we were almost half way done with the race. Being in the parks and DTD for the first 5.5 miles made it go by in a blur. The streets were still a bit boring but not as monotonous as they seemed the first year. There were more people just out watching us run. By the time we were close to downtown Anaheim, we were already at 8 miles. I was shocked at how good I still felt so far in the race.  I had the runner tracking texting me and I had been keeping a pretty steady pace of just over a 15minute/mile. That was slower than I had started any other race last year but I felt really strong. As I approached the 8 mile sign, I started to cry again and snapped a picture. Knowing that it all started with 8 miles and how I had felt at the 8 mile mark in the first Tink, I couldn't get over how far I have come. Even though I had some really bad races in 2013, I was finally seeing the work pay off. 

Passing the 8 mile mark will always mean something special to me

Unfortunately, right after the 8 mile mark, I started to feel light headed. I grabbed the fruit snacks I had in my pocket and opened them up only to find that it only contained two pieces. I ate them but knew it was not going to be enough and I still had over a mile before we hit the gel station. I was really worried that I wasn't going to be able to keep running. Just when I needed it most, God sent some help. At around 8.5 miles, there was a group handing out orange slices and red vines. I grabbed one of each and said a quick prayer of thanks. I am not typically a red vines or twizzler fan but at that point, it tasted amazing. I felt a little better but I wasn't great yet. Then as we turned a corner in the downtown area, there was another tent set up with a different group. They had animal crackers, pretzels and peanut butter stuffed pretzels and more that I couldn't see. I grabbed a huge handful of animal crackers and a few pretzels for the salt. I spent the next little while walking and enjoying my snacks. My stomach was happy for something other than sugar and I could feel my blood sugar rising. By the time I reached mile 9 and the gel packets I was feeling good again. I still grabbed a gel and a cup of water just to help hold me over for the last 4 miles. 

After that, I was in the home stretch. It's still crazy to me when  you are running down the street past McDonalds and Subway and a million other restaurants but this time I tried to keep my focus on the road and on moving forward. I was still running my intervals which has never happened that far into a race before. I've always had to start skipping run intervals or just giving up and walking the rest but I still felt good. Every time I thought about where I was in the race, how far I had come since the first one and how good I felt, I couldn't help but get emotional. As we got closer to the finish, the more I had to fight back the tears. Fortunately, I soon passed one of the most awesome signs and it made me smile. 

Finally, we were running through the backlot of California Adventure and I was almost there. I was running. I was feeling good. I was about to finish. I saw Rachel once more right before I turned the last corner. There it was, the finish line. I started to sprint which felt crazy because I am usually too tired to sprint at the end of a race. As I crossed the finish line, the tears began to flow. It is evident in the crazy expression that is on my face in my finisher photo that I was getting emotional.  I cried more at this finish than I did when I finished the first one. I was so emotional that I had a hard time talking to Mac when he called to congratulate me. When I checked the final alert from the runner tracking, I had actually gotten faster in the last half of the race, not slower. I couldn't believe it. 

In a lot of ways, I feel like this race actually meant more to me than completing my first one. I was proud of my first half marathon but I was still hesitant about the achievement. I had finished, but I had not finished in the allotted time or under the required pace. I had struggled a lot and still had a hard time calling myself a runner. Finally, with the 2014 Tink, I finished under the required 3:30 time limit and with a pace faster than a 16minute/mile. This was the first Disney race I have ever completed in under the required pace. I finally really felt like I had earned the title of "runner." I know I have been a runner for a while but I felt like I had never really ran a race. I always seemed to end up walking more than running and so it was hard for me to say "I ran a half marathon." For the first time I felt like I could proudly say that I ran a race. 

The race redeemed itself this year. I didn't hate the course as much, the crowd support was great and I finally felt like it was a race I would willingly do again. But more than that, Tink was my redemption. Last year was a hard year for me when it came to races. I was truly ready to hang it all up and call it quits. I was tired and felt like I wasn't making any progress. This year's Tink finally proved to me that I am getting somewhere and that I haven't been wasting my time. It taught me something about my pacing and about the strength that I do possess. I'm finally looking forward to Princess and the Glass Slipper Challenge again, though I don't expect to have as good of a finish time. California is blessed with low humidity and great weather, and Florida is not. Even though the conditions probably won't be as good, I will still run my best race and hopefully finish with my head held high again.  

 My weekend in summary

 This was in my fortune cookie the day after Tink. 

I was really ready to give up after last year but I think I will keep pushing forward instead. 

2013: A bad year for races

I was typing up my Tink recap the other day and kept feeling like I needed to post this first. There are things about that race that will make more sense if you know more about how my other races were. I have alluded to recaps on my races in Oct-Dec but I have yet to write them. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I hate the thought of reliving any of those races, some more than others. I guess the last two weren't horrible but they weren't great either.

I was out for a training run two weeks before Tink and I did some serious thinking. I really felt like there was a possibility that Tink and Princess would be my last races. The past year was so bad that I was really ready to just give it all up. It all started with Princess and the nightmare that it became. I finished that race solely because my husband was there pushing me along. I was able to figure out why it was so bad when I finally had a clear head to look back on it but it didn't change the fact that it was a horrible race for me.

I was determined to do better and improve my running as I began training this summer for the Tower of Terror 10 miler in October and the Rock 'n' Roll half in November. I found a new training plan that I really liked and it had back to back run days that would prepare me for Tink and Princess weekends. I felt really strong in my training and actually did the race distance in training for the first time and felt great. I had high expectations for ToT. Unfortunately, the weather wasn't the best and I screwed up and spent too much time on my feet before the race. Once again, my race sucked. I did ok for the first half and then my feet were just done. I ended up walking that last half of the race and I wanted to cry the entire time. I was so upset that training had gone so well but my race time was not going to show it. I finished the race in the worst mood. The hike back into the park to meet up with my friends just pissed me off that much more because all I wanted to do was SIT DOWN. It was bad and I was very disappointed in myself. I knew that it was really my fault. Even though the temps weren't great, I could have dealt with that. The fact that I spent too much time in the park the day of the race really bit me in the ass and cost me a good race.

A few weeks later I ran the Zoo Stampede 10K. My average pace for that race wasn't bad but I still didn't feel good. It was tougher than it should have been. I felt too hot even though the temps were lower that morning. The humidity was playing against me and sweating just didn't work. I also hated that so much of the course ended up being on concrete sidewalks instead of asphalt. Concrete is  harder than asphalt and I try my best not to run on it. Even though I have a good fore foot stride that helps reduce impact, since I am still overweight, it is easier on my ankles if I choose a better surface than concrete.

Two weeks after running through the zoo, I did the Rock 'n' Roll half marathon.  It wasn't a horrible race but it could have been much better. I started out too fast by running my fastest 5K ever but then the damn hills and the over 90 degree temps got to me. In the summer, I run when it is 90 all the time but this was November 17th and we had been having typical fall weather for a few weeks so the suddenly high temps took a toll on everyone. I saw so many paramedics helping runners and the residents of the neighborhoods we ran through were spraying everyone with water hoses as we ran by to try to cool us all off. Thanks to my fast start, I finished with a good time for me even though I walked at least 6 miles of the course. Because of the unusual weather that day I was actually happy with my race time but I knew it could have been so much better had the temps been better.

After that race, I had a hard time keeping my head in the running game. My family visited for Thanksgiving and it got unusually cold for our area. I don't run well in the cold. I would much rather run at midnight in the summer when it is still 90 degrees than to run in the middle of the day in the winter when it is 35 degrees outside. I had plans of several other races between RnR and the end of the year but one 5K was cancelled at the last minute while the others I never signed up for. I wanted to have a few people do one of the night 5Ks with me but no one else was really interested. Then there was the other half marathon I wanted to do mid December but then I found out Mac was going to be on the other side of the world and I would have no one waiting at the finish for me. It was going to be a two lap race in a kind of boring area so the thought of not having a familiar face to look forward to made the race sound less appealing so I decided to save the entry fee. I tried to get a few runs in but it just didn't happen like I wanted.

Finally the Biggest Loser Half rolled around. It was my final race of 2013. It was not a great race. I was actually shocked the other day when I was looking at all of my results on Athlinks.com and saw that the Biggest Loser half was actually my fastest half ever. It sure didn't feel that way. It was another case of starting too fast maybe combined with a hill that was more than I ever imagined. When I do my training runs, there is a hill that I purposely run on every lap. It sucks but I know it is good training. It didn't help with the hill in this race because it wasn't really a hill, it was a bridge, a big ass bridge. The race was in Panama City Beach and the bridges there are no joke. What made this one so bad was the fact that the half way point for the out and back race was the bottom of the bridge on the other side so you immediately turned around and went up it again. It killed my quads. I had kept a very steady pace for the first half of the race but once we hit that bridge, it just sucked all of the energy out of me. I ended up walking the last half. I considered lying down on the ground a few times and quitting here and there but I kept moving. Finally I finished the race but it wasn't pretty. Once again my feet killed me and I felt like I had never trained at all. I hated that feeling.

So as I forced myself to go for a run before Tink, I seriously considered hanging it all up. I spent so much time trying to train and prepare for these races and they all went to hell. I just didn't want to do it anymore. I prayed that somehow Tink would be better but I didn't expect much out of that race. I was so down on myself about the bad races that I slipped into old habits and regained a chunk of the weight I had lost. Things just didn't end very well in 2013 and I was glad to see the year go.

Tink turned out to be a pleasant surprise though the weekend had it's own bumps. I will post a full recap of it soon but I felt that you all deserved to read what 2013 was really like for me first. I've tried so many times to write recaps for each of the races during those last months but I just never could bring myself to do it. So these condensed versions of them will have to do because I don't know how much more I could say about them. I'm really hoping that things have turned around and that 2014 will be a much better year.



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One good thing did come from the Biggest Loser Half though. This awesome pic of me running. I am not one to ever jump or smile or ham it up for a race photographer. I focus on my running and finishing the race. I really love this shot of me which is something I very rarely say.