Better Than Expected

Today was my first WW weigh-in in 3 weeks. Since I didn't really do anything I had planned while I was home, I was scared it was going to be ugly. However, it turned out much better than I expected it to. I gained, but I only gained .2 lbs, not 5 or 6 like I expected.

I'm really cracking down more now. I have been hovering around the same place for just over a month and it is time to move forward. I am considering a different running program or a mash-up of a few. (yes, I know, again) I am thinking of going back to GA for Labor Day and doing a 10k that I found out about to use as a possible qualifying time for the Tinkerbell. My original plan was to use the Army shadow 10 Miler here at Hood in October but since I will be in GA for my 10 year high school reunion that day, my plans have to change. Since it is a different race and a month sooner, I am looking into a 10K program that I could do. I think I found one that I like, I will just have to see if I can do it. It will require me to push myself much harder than I have been, and while that is a good thing, it scares me a little because it has gotten so damn hot here. I am going to try to do all of my workouts in the morning because it is still over 90 here at midnight now. the crack of dawn is the only time it is even slightly cooler anymore. Ugh. I HATE mornings. I am such a night owl.(Notice the time stamp) Getting up has been the biggest issue lately. I'm trying to shift my daily schedule but it is hard.

I've been struggling a little with motivation since we returned from our trip home. I know that I still have a long way to go but NO ONE noticed that I have lost 25 lbs already. I know it still isn't a huge difference but I can tell that my clothes fit better and my jeans are literally starting to fall off when I walk around in them with out a belt. To me the most noticeable place I have seen it is in my face but I go home and NO ONE says anything EXCEPT for my 86 year old 90% blind great-grandmother. She was the only person that noticed anything and said something about it. It just really hurt to feel like I am working so hard and no one notices. I would mention something about WW or trying to lose weight and I would get the question of "how much have you lost?" but I was always the one that had to bring it up. No one said, "Oh you look good." or "I can tell you've lost weight." Not even my mother-in-law who has been obsessed with my weight since Mac and I started dating.(It was one of the reasons she told him he shouldn't marry me.) It was just discouraging.

Anyway, I was actually happy with my weigh-in today because I have not lost as much ground as I thought I did. I'm not as far along as I would like to be but at least I did not go too far in the wrong direction. I've hit this place every time I have tried to lose weight and this is where I have always quit. I lose a decent amount and then I stall out for a while. I convince myself it is impossible and just stop trying. I am determined not to do that this time. I am trying to find a new focus and determination. I know I can do this it just sucks sometimes.

(I really hate mornings.)