FINALLY!!

Finally I had a good run!!

Today...

Today was ...

What's a nice way to put it?

Today was a really shitty day. (that'll have to do)


The week in general hasn't been that great but this afternoon it got worse. Thankfully in the big sense, everything is fine, or fixable, but in the emotional and stressful sense, it was a bad day. (I'll explain later once I can tell my husband everything. Especially since the aftermath may affect my workouts and such.)

Anyway, it was a bad day.

There was a bright spot early on. I bought a bike at the village wide yard sale for $35. It is a cruiser hybrid, or at least that is what I call it. It is styled like a cruiser but still has a few gears. It seems like it is in really great shape, i just need to get an adapter for the tube because they are European.

I missed my run last night. I wasn't looking forward to it in the first place because it was jumping up in time again and I wasn't sure I could do it. Things were a little more hectic than I expected yesterday and by the time I realized I needed to run, I didn't have it in me. I decided I was going to try to sleep and then do it this morning before hitting the yard sales. My alarm went off and I had not gotten much sleep so I ignored it. I decided that if I got back early enough tonight(I was supposed to go to a concert) I would do it then. Well, then all hell broke loose. I got home, didn't feel great but knew I needed to run. I felt bad because I hadn't ran when I should have. Not guilty-bad, more of a not normal kind of bad. I felt like I was missing something, like something was off. I decided that maybe it would help me feel better and seeing as I have no idea how I will feel tomorrow, I better get it over with. I also didn't want to fall too far behind on my new 10K plan because as it is currently laid out, I will complete it just in time for the Labor Day 10K.

I did not have high hopes for tonight but I kept praying that God would give me the ability to have a good run, and he did. I was smart. I slowed down a lot. I am still averaging an acceptable pace but I am slower than I want to be on Labor Day. That's ok, I'm still building up so I really don't want to push it too hard. I just wanted to finish the workout. I modified the plan a little since I knew I had struggled with the last run. It called for an 8 minute run followed by a 2 minute walk repeated 3 times. I knew that in recent runs, 2 minutes wasn't enough for my calves to recover before I started the next run. I decided to extend it to 3 minutes instead and it worked out GREAT. I know in time that recovery time will decrease but for now, having legs that feel good and are able to continue is more important to me.

My run time increases again on Monday. I am hoping that I can stick to tonight's pace so that I can complete it as well. I am really hoping that I am entering a new positive swing with all the workouts instead of having some of the discouragement that I have faced lately. I really want to feel good about all of this again instead of just frustrated.

WW Thursday

So today wasn't the best of days for weighing in. I gained 0.4 lbs. I know that isn't much but this has been a trend lately. In reality, I am still doing pretty good because I have not gained a full pound yet if you add up my gains since my last loss. So basically I have been pretty much staying the same. It all really started when we went home and I haven't fully gotten back on track since then. I am doing better with my running again and I am still learning with my food. I have bee pretty consistently having "breakfast" so that at least is a start. I put breakfast in quotes because it is a meal replacement shake not a bowl of cereal or anything like that. I'm starting slow but at least I am getting something in my system instead of waiting until 5pm like I used to. The shakes are also useful because I am doing a cleanse that requires consuming a large dose of saw dust, I mean fiber, and putting it in the shake makes it bearable. I'm hoping that cleaning everything in there out will help me with the weight-loss stuff as well as tummy issues I have been plagued with for years. I am already noticing that I am not having some of the digestive issues that used to be commonplace for me.

Tonight was a hard night at the meeting. Our regular leader is on vacation so Steve takes over while she is gone. I like him. He keeps the meeting short and sweet and is a nice guy. however, tonight he said something that felt a little harsh and really kind of hurt. When he saw that I gained and then noticed the two weigh-ins before, he said that even though .4 isn't a number to be alarmed by he noticed a pattern and wanted to know what was going on. I responded, "Stress." I have been stressed. Driving 18 hours each way to Georgia and back is not a walk in the park. Dealing with my husband going overseas makes me a little crazy and fighting with a weight-loss plateau makes me want to pull my hair out. When I get stressed, I stop losing weight, even if I am watching what I eat and exercising, it just all stops, which stresses me out more. This is what has been going on and why the scale has not been my friend. Steve's response to my one word answer was, "Well, maybe we should find ways other than food to deal with our stress." I HAVEN'T BEEN OVER EATING. Have I had an extra snack or two? Yes, but I have been staying within my weekly points. I know he was trying to be helpful but jumping to that conclusion and making that statement was like a knife in my chest. I felt so defeated and really did not want to be at the meeting anymore. It didn't help that my friend's husband became a lifetime member tonight because he hit his goal and maintained it for 6 weeks. He only had 30 lbs to lose but for me, becoming a lifetime member seems like it is a lifetime away.

I've really been struggling with all of this and really trying to push through it. In the past, every time I have tried to lose weight, this is where I quit. I decided that it really was impossible and I walked away. Every time I have tried to lose weight I have hit this same road block around the same time. I lose 15-25 lbs and then it all stops. I stall out, get discouraged, and quit. This time I am not letting myself stop but that doesn't change the fact that it is hard to move forward. I'm trying to really buckle down and get even more serious so that I can start making better progress. I really want to change, I really want to be a better person, but it is really hard when you feel like you have run face first into a brick wall. I'm going to break through but it is going to take time.

Update: I just recorded my measurements and I have lost a total of 18 inches all over, 8 of those are around my waist and 5 of that have been since I stopped "losing weight." Even though I am not seeing it on the scale, my body is still getting smaller.

Lost Another One

I have lost yet another follower. I want to get new people not lose them. Sorry if my posts haven't been all rainbows and sunshine lately. This journey is not always going to be fun. That is why I used the word battles in the name. It is a war I have been fighting all my life and right now, I'm losing a little ground. Hopefully soon I will rally and start a new charge.

I had a bad run tonight. I'm not feeling great and it showed. My legs are tight and my ankle is KILLING me. It was just a bad night. I'm thinking about trying to swim a few laps tomorrow. It will just take a lot for me to actually go to the pool. The last time I went to a post pool I had a panic attack and had to leave. Swimming in front of a bunch of soldiers is not easy for someone my size.

Hopefully, my weigh-in tomorrow will go well and Friday's run will be better.

Here's hoping!

Quick Update

My husband is gone for a week or so and everything is a little out of whack. I have been keeping up with my run training even though I am on my own. It is going well. It is getting touch though. my run intervals are getting longer and my legs are feeling it. I know they are getting stronger but the process is a little painful.

I'm not sure how the weight thing is going. I was down a few lbs the end of last week but then I had a lot of stuff going on this past weekend so now it is a little iffy. Hopefully I will have a good weigh-in this week but I am not really expecting it.


Everything is just off when Mac is gone. The deployment is not going to be fun once it gets here.

"Most People are Born Barefoot"

"And some are smart enough to stay that way."

This is part of a conversation my husband and I had on my light run tonight. The title was spoken by my husband and the next was my response.

While I was at the Peachtree Expo I picked up a pair of Reebok RealFlex shoes. I wanted a more minimalist shoe to wear during the times I wanted a little more cushioning than Vibrams. I like how flexible and light they are. They are super comfortable and I wore them while we walked around Atlanta and my feet never hurt.

Since I was doing a lighter run tonight, I decided to try them out. I want to wear my Vibrams most of the time but every now and then when my ankle flares up, it is nice to have more support. I came to the conclusion that I just need to stop wearing shoes. I really need to stick to Vibrams for my running. Is this the best course for everyone? No. Is it the best thing for me? Absolutely. After 2 intervals I started to get a familiar pain in my left foot. This pain as occurred every time I have gone for a run in running shoes but never happens in my Vibrams.

I have always had problems with shoes. It is hard for me to find any that don't make my feet hurt. I love cute and sexy high heels but I really can't wear them very much because they kill my feet. All of this is because of one thing. I go barefoot ALL the time. I always have. If I'm not barefoot, I'm in flip flops. I have walked barefoot for so long that my feet do not respond well to shoes. They are strong and callused and mine. When I was in college I was even known to go to class barefoot. Because of all this, it is no surprise that barefoot running is what works best for me. Now does that mean I am crazy enough to run around without any shoes at all? No. There are too many things that can tear up your feet. That is why I love my Vibrams.

I will review the two pair I own, the Bikilas and the Komodo Sports, at a later date but tonight's run proved that I am making the right decision.  My husband did not grow up barefoot like I did but he has successfully transitioned into Vibrams and loves them. He still uses his regular running shoes for PT(thanks to the new regulation) but he wears his Vibrams every chance he gets.

(Ah, sadness, I lost a follower. When you only have 24 it is noticeable when the number falls.)

Moving Forward

I just finished my run for the night. It was hot and difficult. I struggled some with the intervals but I did the best I could. I stopped after 7 reps instead of doing all 8 because my legs were getting very tired and I was so hot. I kept missing a step because I wasn't picking my foot up high enough and scuffing it on the ground. I was worried that if I tried to push through the last interval I would trip myself up and fall.

Wednesdays run is supposed to have intervals that are twice as long as tonight's. I don't know if I am going to be able to go to that level just yet. I am going to give it a try but if I feel like it is pushing too hard, I will back down to tonight's plan.

I have found my next race I think. I want to get in a qualifying race before November 1st so I can email it in for the Tink. I found out about a Labor Day 10K in Atl at the expo but while looking at info for it online, I found out they also do one in Macon on Labor Day. I have friends in Macon. I went to college there. It is much more convenient. I won't have to get up as early. I will be able to find a place to shower right after and then Rachel and I can still go dress shopping for the party. The registration is cheaper and it is a chip timed course so I can still turn in my time if it is good enough. The next thing I will have to figure out is how I am getting home. Do I want to go through the hassle of driving or do I drop a little more cash and fly. I will probably wait until right before and do the Priceline thing. If the take my bid I fly, if not, I drive. We'll see. It is nice having a smaller short-term goal to work towards again. 

Weight Watchers Mondays are Moving

We are no longer doing the link-up on Mondays but I want to continue having a weekly weight watchers related post. Since I don't feel the need to keep it on Monday anymore, I am going to move it to Thursdays now.

It makes more sense to me since I go to meetings on Thursdays and that is when I weigh-in.


So WW Mondays are no more but look forward to WW Thursdays instead.