Confidence and Style

I've been thinking a lot lately about how your self confidence effects how much you truly express your personal style. For years, I have been so ashamed with my outward appearance that I have hidden in t-shirts and jeans or very dark lifeless clothes. What is really sad about that is the fact that it does not represent my personal style in any way. There are so many things that I love and would love to wear but I have simply lacked the confidence to do it.

One aspect of this came up this weekend when my husband and I attended the Texas Renaissance Festival. If you know anything about ren fest then you know there are always tons of people in costume, some period correct, some just use it as an excuse to wear as few clothes as possible.  As we walked around and looked at shops, I kept hearing myself say over and over, "One day." I would love nothing more than to have a full, awesome, period relative costume.(I say period relative because I want something that looks close to period correct without some of the less comfortable aspects and layers.) I have always loved the idea of having a renaissance costume and I have dreamed of what it would be like. I have searched online, priced out options and designed in my head. But the truth is, I have never spent the money on one because I know at this point, I still don't have the confidence to wear it. I told my husband that if I ever get all of this figured out and really lose the weight that I will finally be able to let my full freak flag fly. Ha, ha. I don't mean chain mail bra and panties with nothing else under (or over) them, I mean just the freedom to allow myself to be myself with my wardrobe choices. And one of the first purchases will be a costume.

As we walked around Sunday, I saw something that I would LOVE to have, but probably never will because of the cost. As soon as I saw the girl I knew I had to find where she bought it just to see how much it was. It was this full length, hand-made leather dress.

 

It was GORGEOUS. Once we found the shop and I saw the price tag my heart sank a little because I can't justify that amount of money for a dress that I would only be able to wear every now and then but it did not change the fact that I LOVED it.  (They make some really awesome stuff so click on the pic to go to the website and look around.)

It's things like this that most people in my life would be surprised to find out I like. I love dresses. I actually own too many of them because I find an awesome dress on sale and buy it. Then my lack of self confidence gets in the way and I tend to not actually wear them very often. Very few people actually know that because I am always just wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

I love fun edgy styles and I want to wear some of them so badly but I just can't bring myself to do it. You could see a little of that in my choice for a costume at Halloween. My friend Rachel and I wanted to dress up in something fun for the Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween party. We wanted it to be Disney related but not something everyone else would wear. We decided to go as a punkish version of Cinderella(Rachel) and Snow White(me). We had a blast finding the stuff to wear and playing around with the ideas. I found an awesome tutu online and Torrid or Hot Topic provide most of the rest. I was so excited about it but I must admit, once I put it all on, I became very self conscious and wished I had waited until I was smaller to try a costume like that.

Rachel and I right before we left. I had ditched my wig by this point. (And my purse is an apple)

I can't wait for the day that I feel confident enough to truly be myself and let my personal style shine. I love retro and edgy and glamorous and so much more than what people see me in day to day. I am becoming more comfortable in my own skin. I do own a few pairs of fun colored skinny jeans now and I have had a lot of fun wearing them. I still have a lot of insecurities but I am working on them and I know as I see more success I will see many of them fade away. I don't think many people realize how much of yourself is hidden when you are struggling with your weight. I can't wait to fully reveal myself as this journey continues.

Feeling Good

Tonight Mac and I went out for our first Princess training run. It was just 30 minutes but it felt good to get back out there. We were supposed to go for a 3 mile run this weekend as the first run but after walking a ton at the Tex Ren Fest and dealing with being out of town, we didn't do it.

It felt good to get a run in again. It has been a while since I have been out there. I didn't feel great during the run but by the end I was better. My biggest issue was the drastic temperature drop we have had the last few days. This weekend it was still in the 80s and muggy then the cold front came through and today when we went out it was just a little above 50. My lungs hate running in the cold. I read an article recently about how you should breathe while running, especially in colder temps. It said that you should only breathe through your nose because it warms up the air and adds moisture to it. Well, I couldn't handle that. My nose was running like crazy and I swear the cold air gave me brain freeze, haha. So I opted for the second method they recommended, breathing through a scarf or shirt over your mouth to capture heat and moisture. As we ran by the house I asked Mac to run in and grab the neck gator I purchased from Bondi Band last year. (I'm a little jealous looking at the website now because when I bought it last year, they only sold them in black and now they have tons of colors.) I slipped it over my face and instantly it was so much easier to breathe. I have to get used to having it on my face but it definitely made running in the cooler air much easier.

Once we were done I was a little disappointed in my pace as I saved my workout on runkeeper but I was happy I had at least gotten it done. When I got inside to check the map and chart on the computer I realized the map was a little off and once I fixed the few points that were wrong my distance and pace improved and I felt much better about the workout. I still have a long road ahead but taking those first steps really feel good.

Since this time around I am trying to focus on more than just running, I decided to get in my TurboFire workout before I took a shower. I think I am really going to like the program once I get the hang of it. It was easier for me to pick up on the combos today during the Low HIIT workout. Low HIIT stands for low impact High Intensity Interval Training and it will kick your butt. I am glad that it doesn't have all of the jumping that the high HIIT workouts will because after a run, I needed low impact. It was still brutal though. my legs were screaming at me half way through. There were still a few moves that I just couldn't figure out but over all I was able to pick it up pretty quickly and get in a great workout. For those tougher moves, in the future I think I am just going to have to pause the DVD so I can repeatedly do the moves at a slower pace until they make sense to me. I love that the stretching portion of the workouts is a separate thing.(You have to go back to the title screen and select the stretching.) It is the same stretch sequence most days so it is easy to remember how it progresses.

I still need a little while to get used to the program but I really think I am going to enjoy it. I've seen a little success with the 10 Day Challenge this time and I am sure that it will continue as I am running and working out more. Mac has made eating better easier because I'm not just cooking for me. We've tried some fun new things lately and that has been very nice. Some have been a hit and others haven't(for me, Mac loved it) but it is nice having someone who eats almost anything around for those meals that I'm not crazy about. It's also nice being able to actually use an entire loaf of healthy bread without having to throw it away half way through because of mold. When I was alone, even if I had a sandwich for lunch everyday, the bread I buy would go bad too quickly because I only buy stuff that is preservative free. It's the little things like that that are making things easier now that he is home.


Tomorrow is the last day of the challenge so I will be writing a recap on Thursday and letting you know how you can participate in a future challenge if you would like. I have hit one new milestone and I am VERY close to another so I will tell you about both hopefully on Thursday. Things have been going well. Much better than I expected and if I can keep this up, it will be awesome. Now I must go and eat my lemon pepper chicken and couscous, my favorite post workout meal and a great fall back dinner when we can't figure out anything else to eat.

(I'm also working on a post about some of the emotional and mental parts of this kind of journey that came up while we were at Ren Fest. Hopefully I will have it done for you soon.)

Feeling the Burn

TurboFire is no joke. It is a very different workout than Insanity but it is by no means easy. It is much more cardio based while Insanity is more cardio and strength combined. That's ok though because I have some strength circuits that I have done before and really like so I will add them in as well. It is going to take me a little while before I feel completely comfortable with the workouts though due to the sometimes complex combos she uses. It is very fast paced and can take a little while to figure it out and be able to do it to tempo. I also need to sit down and figure out how I am going to modify the schedule as well. I will only do it 5 days a week instead of 6 because our long runs will replace it on Saturdays. What is throwing me off is that the rest day on the schedule is Wednesdays instead of the usual Sundays. I know it's not really too big of a deal but I want to look at the pattern to see if there is a reason or if it will be fine if I just shift things a little.

Man, I'm going to be feeling it in my shoulders tomorrow thanks to all of the punches in the routine. I'm excited about it and I am glad that it is different but I must admit, I miss Insanity a little. I will definitely revisited that program in the future since I know I never got everything out of it that I could. But for now, TurboFire will be a good change of pace and the intense cardio will only help as we start really training for the Princess.

10 Day Challenge(Round 2)

Yesterday I began the 10 Day Challenge again and so far so good. One of the great things already is having Mac home which makes the cooking side of things easier. When I am just cooking for myself, sometimes it is hard to find the motivation or get the portions right. I don't typically eat left overs so food gets wasted unless I take the time to figure out how to cut the recipes down for just one serving. Even all of the recipes in the Beachbody nutrition guides that come with the workout programs all make two servings. Well, now that is perfect with him home. Last night we had Chicken Satay which was very tasty and pretty simple. Tonight we ate out since we were in San Antonio to see some friends on their honeymoon but we were still smart about it. We split an entree that was a tilapia and shrimp dish. It was the perfect size for two and very yummy. We have looked through the menus Lindsey provided me as well as those found in the nutrition guides I have from beach body and we have been planning what we want to have later this week, including a few crock pot meals that Mac will toss in on his lunch break so we can have them for dinner.

I didn't start my workouts like I had planned yesterday due to a minor issue with one of my legs(nothing major, just annoying enough to make working out difficult) and we were supposed to run tonight but that changed when we made the last minute trip to SA. I don't feel bad about today though because we walked close to 4 miles with our trip to the San Antonio Museum of Art and back. My only regret was that I was wearing the WRONG shoes and ended up with a couple blisters. Fortunately, there is a CVS on the Riverwalk and they had blister treatment band-aids so now I'm good to go.

I'm really looking forward to this 10 Day Challenge because I can feel a change in the air. I've lost about 7 lbs since the last challenge and so I am excited to see what I can accomplish now. I really feel like this is my time and that this challenge will be the perfect jump-start for what's to come.



Here we go...(again) <-- and="and" as="as" be="be" being="being" but="but" change="change" decided="decided" far="far" from="from" i="i" is="is" it.="it." it="it" may="may" my="my" of="of" original="original" political="political" post="post" realized="realized" so="so" taken="taken" that="that" the="the" then="then" this="this" title="title" to="to" was="was">

He's HOME!!

So in my last super short post, I hinted to lots of things going on. Most of those things revolved around the fact that my husband was coming home. He arrived last night and I couldn't be happier. Now that he is home, things will really be shifting into a new gear for me health and fitness wise. I will start of by participating in the 10 day challenge again and this time I will be able to complete it. It will be easier to cook better meals because I will not be cooking for just one anymore. Mac will sort of be doing the 10 Day Challenge with me since I will be cooking better and we will begin our half marathon training this week. I will also be starting a new fitness program. I kept having a hard time restarting Insanity and I knew I just needed something different but wasn't sure what to do. Then this week Beachbody had a huge sale on TurboFire which is a program I have looked into several times but didn't want to spend over $100 on it when I already had programs here that I could use. When they dropped the price this week, I jumped on it. I literally waited on the website and kept hitting refresh until the price dropped and the sale officially started. As soon as I saw the new price, I bought it and it arrived in the mail yesterday. I'm really excited for what is in store for me over the next few months. I feel like I have really figured out a lot of things I was missing and now with the support and help of my husband being by my side, I know I can make some huge changes.

Here's to the future and the end of a really hard year...

I'm still here, I promise.

Sorry I have been so quiet lately. There has been a lot going on that I will be able to talk more about soon.

Also, I will be starting the 10 Day Challenge again on Monday so look forward to updates about that as well.

Sorry, that's all I've got for now. There will be more soon, I swear.

Want to join me?

Here is the info for next month's 10 Day Challenge if you would like to join me. Contact Lindsey today to sign up!