It only takes one great run...

to remind me why I started running and continue to do it.

Tuesday night was one of those great runs that helped pull me out of the most recent valley I found myself in with running. My journey has been up and down from the start and I've spent a long time this week thinking about how far I have come.

My running journey has not been easy. It hasn't been pretty or overly "successful" in normal running terms. It has been slow, and painful and a long hard road. Just over three years ago, an online friend posted about the Princess Half marathon and asked if there were any other Army wives that wanted to join her at the 2011 race. I was very over weight, had never enjoyed running but desperate to find something that would help me find the athlete I used to be, so I said yes. I was too mentally defeated to train like I should have and so I quit trying. I forced myself to go to the start that morning and give it a try and that is when the journey of 8 miles set me on the path to finding the love of  running I have today.

After being swept at that race but realizing it was in fact possible, I came home with a new perspective and determination to try again and finish the race.  A few weeks after Princess, I walked my first 5K on post. Then I started Couch to 5K but switched to the Weight Watchers 5K plan soon after because it just felt better to me. Even though I liked the plan and found some success with it, it was not easy. Any time the run intervals got really long, I had trouble with my calves tightening up. If I kept trying to run with my calves tight, I would eventually lose feeling in my toes or feet because my calves were so tight they were cutting off the circulation. That was when I decided that trying to run an entire 5k, let alone a half marathon probably wasn't going to happen. So I switched up to Jeff Galloway's run/walk intervals. I realized that if I did intervals, I felt better for longer and actually was faster than trying to run straight through. The one time I almost ran an entire 5K, I ran an 18 minute mile. That is walking for most people. When I did another 5K a few months later with intervals, I finished with a 16 minute mile average pace. That was very encouraging since that was the required pace for RunDisney events.

I became confident enough that I signed up to do the Inaugural Tinker Bell half marathon a month before my second attempt at Princess. I began training more seriously with the intervals after that and started finding more success. I was still slow, but I was just barely fast enough. I tried a 10K which didn't start out great but I still finished with around a 16mpm  pace. I did more 5ks on post and tried to stick to my training more. When Mac deployed in November, three months before Tink, it got a little harder for me to stay on track. I had done all of my training with him and not having him there made it hard. Plus dealing with all of the emotions of saying good-bye to the love of my life for a year just before the holiday season is tough enough all by itself. I didn't stick to the schedule as well as I should but I still made sure to get in my long runs. Finally time for Tink rolled around and I finished. It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't fun but I finished. My run time was over the required pace per mile and suggested finish time but since I wasn't in the last corral, I had the cushion I needed to complete it. A month later, I did the same at Princess and earned my Coast to Coast medal. I was proud of myself but also a little disappointed that even after all that hard work, I was still slow.

I came home and started to take it easy. I completed a 10 miler in April and then did the Expedition Everest challenge in May. After that, I took a break from running for a while. I tried to find other ways to work out but nothing really seemed to stick. Finally in August of 2012, I ran another 5K on post. I was glad that I hadn't really lost any ground and actually set a PR for my 5K time that day. I started getting back into running every now and then because once Mac came home in November, we had to start training for the next Princess. I was still slow, but just slightly faster than I had been. I trained harder and more consistently and had really high hopes for the 2013 Princess. Unfortunately, 3 weeks before the race, I was misdiagnosed with a severe wheat allergy. My world was turned upside down and I was told that I could die if I accidentally ate wheat after it was all out of my system. This sent me into full on panic mode and for the next month, while I waited to be seen by the post allergist for confirmation, I could barely eat. I was so scared to eat anything. Because of this, I had a full blown panic attack at Disney the night before the race and barely managed to eat half an order of rice and part of a pork chop.(Disney is amazing with all allergies but I was just scared) That meant the next morning, my body had NO FUEL to use for the race and I am surprised I even managed to finish. My finishing time was 10 minutes SLOWER than the year before. It was heartbreaking.

Once we were back and I found out I wasn't going to die if I ate wheat(I'm not even allergic at all) I was able to relax and start focusing on changing my diet. I still eat mostly gluten free but that is because I have found greater success losing weight by eating this way. It forces me to reduce my carb intake and make better choices on the days I am fueling up for a run. I took a few months off after Princess to focus on the other parts of my weight-loss journey that I had neglected. Finally in April, I decided to try the WW5K program again in hopes of being able to run a full 30 minutes on my 30th birthday in May. The program was so much easier that time around. I didn't have the muscle cramping issues I had before as the intervals increased and I finally ran my first full 30 minutes. I was faster too. I'm still slow by most standards but I ran a mile in just over 12 minutes one night and that was a HUGE deal. Just a few weeks ago after completing Insanity,  I ran my fastest mile in just under 11 minutes. My average for longer runs has been 13:30-14:30 mpm.

Unfortunately, right after I saw so much success, I hit another valley. My runs were harder and slower than they should have been. Weather was making it tough, monthly issues got in the way and I just had a few weeks where I really questioned why I even tried. I was starting to get really down about all of it and feeling like I wasn't really getting anywhere. Finally, Tuesday night, the stars aligned and I had a GREAT run. It was one of my week day 4 mile runs so nothing too strenuous but still a good distance. The weather was amazing(with the exception of a little too much humidity) and I was reminded that fall is quickly approaching. I was doing longer run intervals thanks to once again trying to use the WW5K plan to build back up to running 30 minutes.This was my second run using the 10 minute intervals. The first time I did them last week, I only completed two repetitions instead of the 3 I was supposed to do. Tuesday's run really was a huge turn around from the week before. The first 10 minute run interval was tough but I made it to the end and walked out the little bit of tightness that had started. By the second 10  minute interval, I felt good. I was only supposed to repeat the 10 minute intervals 3 times and then switch back to the shorter intervals I normally use but I decided to keep going as long as I felt good. Before I knew it, I had done 5 ten minute intervals and ran 4.3 miles. I was done and I felt GREAT.

It was an amazing feeling. Not only had I had a great run, I found out how to deal with one issue I seem to always have with my runs. I have always HATED short runs because it typically takes me 2-3 miles to get warmed up so if it is a short run, I never really feel like I am warm and running my best. In the first mile or so, I always deal with a little tightness in my calves until they get nice and warm and stop protesting. With my run on Tuesday, I experienced that tightness within my first 10 minute interval and by the time that I walked it out and started running again, I was loose and warm and ready to go. The rest of the run felt great. I'm going to keep testing this theory with my longer runs but I am planning to run 10 minutes at the beginning, walk 3-5 minutes to loosen back up and then start my standard intervals after that. If it continues to work the way it did on Tuesday night, I may have a brand new outlook on short runs. I'll keep you posted as time goes on.

One thing I have learned through my journey thus far is that every one's run journey is there own. No two are alike. No one training plan is perfect for every one and even the ones that work for you might need to be tweaked here or there to help you reach your potential. There is also no definitive measurement of success or failure. If you are giving your all and lacing up over and over again, you will find your own success. Some people talk about walking in races like it is the worst thing a person could possibly do. For me, it is how I have found my strength and the reason I still run today. Running like anything in life has it's peaks and valleys. Sometimes you find yourself in a dark place but if you keep moving forward, a burst of light will find you when you least expect it.

Running isn't always pretty and sometimes I wonder why I do it, but all it takes is one great run to remind me why I love it.