The last month has been eye opening for me in a few ways. I have realized some of the things that have been holding me back and what I am going to need to do to succeed. I also realized that I have to come to terms with the very real facts that I am not where I wanted to be by now and that it will greatly affect my chances of finishing the Tinkerbell this month. My long run this weekend was bad. My pace was crap and my feet were killing me so badly that I actually wasn't able to go as far as I was supposed to. I am going to keep training and pushing but I also have to look at the facts and prepare myself for the possibility of being swept again. I've talked about this with a few people and they keep telling me how I need to believe and that I will finish. I know they are trying to be nice but I'm being realistic. Someone else said that as long as I can walk, I can finish because others have finished by walking the entire thing. That is not true for me because I walk to slowly. People don't realize that with my run/walk intervals, my average pace is on the verge of being slower than the required pace. I know that I can go slower than the 16 min mile requirement and still finish if I have a good corral placement but the reality is, I can't go much faster than that. I AM SLOW! I'm ok with the fact that I am slow but I can't seem to get people to understand this fact. I say slow, they think 12 minute mile. No, I'm slower than that. I would love to do a 12 min mile average pace and one day I will but that will not be any time soon. I just can't seem to get people to understand that when I say slow, I mean SLOOOOOWWW. Haha.
Anyway, I have resolved to finish what I started. I am going to lose this weight. I am going to run and I am going to get in shape. I am going to be a different woman when my husband sees me next. I'm going to break the cycle. I'm going to finally become the woman I have always wanted to be. This will be my year.
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