2014: A not so great year

I am trying to refocus this year. I want to refocus on my eating, refocus on my workouts and refocus on sharing my journey with you all. I am working on my recap for Star Wars weekend that I started on the flight home but first I wanted to share what I wrote on the flight to California about 2014. I will get my other recap done and posted by this weekend but first, here is what I faced last year that has brought me to a place where I so desperately need to regain the focus, determination and motivation that I lost.

I didn’t post much last year and there are a few reasons why. It wasn’t a great year for me. It started out fine and as far as running was concerned, it was ok, but everything else was crazy.  In contrast, 2013 was a rough year for my running but a good year for getting on track and losing weight. Last year I was plagued by my old friends anxiety and depression and I went the wrong way when it came to my health and fitness. I started 2014 off by creeping back above 200lbs. I hated seeing it but thought it was just temporary and I would be able to get it under control. The problem was, I felt like I had no control of anything and that in turn caused a few problems. 

Mac had been stationed at the same place for 6 years. That is an eternity in the Army. We knew our time in Texas was coming to a close because Mac was at a point in his career where he had no choice but to go to the captains career course(CCC) that he needed for advancement. We knew that meant a move and a short stay in Oklahoma. We were only going to be there for 6-7 months with no idea where we would be heading after. This is a normal part of attending this school but most people have at least a small idea. We were totally in the dark because just a few months before our move, Mac was told that he needed to use his grad school slot immediately after CCC. This meant he had to start applying for grad schools as soon as possible and find schools that had programs starting in the spring since CCC ended too late for him to attend in the fall. After he was accepted to a school, he would then have to apply for the spot through the army and have them approve of the school. Then we would finally be able to make plans for a move. All of this would be done in true Army fashion which means last minute.

In April, I was staring into the face of a temporary move with no hope of knowing where we were headed until a month before we left. That triggered my anxiety. I tried to focus on just moving and then finding a groove for working out but it never happened. My anxiety causes me to experience times of depression. We got into our new place and I had no motivation to unpack because we would be moving again so soon but living amongst boxes added to my stress and anxiety. It became a very ugly cycle and I watched the numbers on the scale continue to rise.

In September, Mac finally had a few acceptances to a few different schools and had to make the decision of where to go. Then we submitted everything to the Army and finally got the go ahead near the end of October. Our move was set for the first week in December. Another move meant more anxiety.  I tried to keep up with my running but I had a hard time finding motivation. I did run the Terminator Half Marathon in October in Oklahoma City. Then a few weeks later, we ran Avengers Half Marathon. I ended the year once again at the Biggest Loser Half in Panama City Beach.  Despite not training very well, I was still able to finish the BLH pretty strong. I was glad they changed the course so that we actually ran along the beach and didn’t have to cross any giant bridges. It gave me a little boost of confidence after a year of uncertainty and disappointment in myself. 

Right now I am on a plane heading to Disneyland where I will be running the Star Wars Rebel Challenge. It will be my last big race for a little while. As much as I REALLY want to run Princess next month, I won’t be doing it this year. I want to take some time after Star Wars to refocus and try to recover from last year. I need to get my eating back under control because I have let it just go out the window.  I also want to focus again on my overall fitness not just running. I have several workout programs I can do as well as getting back into some weight lifting. I also want to sort of start from scratch with my running. I am living in a city now that actually has Galloway training groups. There is one starting next month that is a beginners 5K program. I want to do it so I can work on my basics again. I want to feel strong when I finish a race, not completely spent. I want to build up my ability to run a distance or time straight through so I can in turn make my intervals stronger. I want to lose the 30 lbs I regained and then some.

Mac and I are planning on doing Wine and Dine this year and I want to finish and still be able to enjoy the after party. I am sure I will run other races before then but that is the one I am building up to with my refocused efforts. We will only be in our current city for about a year and a half and I want to use that time the best I can. Being back in the south will give me the opportunity to do races in a few new states and finally run in the part of the word I consider home. Living in Florida also means I am close to lots of great races I have heard about but never been able to travel for due to time and cost. I want to use my time here wisely.  I want to either reach the major goals have set or be close enough that the next move will not be a hindrance to my journey.  I still have a long way to go because I slid so far back last year but I am starting this year with a new plan and refocused efforts. Hopefully I will also be able to share more with you all during this time as well.

Here’s to saying good riddance to a bad year.

Avengers Half Marathon Recap

I wrote this post on the flight home from the race but then left the laptop that it was saved on at my parents' house while we were trying to move so it took me a while to get it online for you. I am still working on the other post I mention below and hopefully will have it up for you by the end of the year.




I have a post in mind about all that has been going on this year and why I haven't been posting much that I hope to get out soon. For now, I want to give you all a recap of the Avengers Half marathon that Mac and I ran this weekend.

I haven't been training the way I should for several different reasons, so I was not looking forward to Avengers at all. I felt like it might be the first time since the very first attempt at Princess that I might be swept. Disneyland races are always really strict about sweeping since the course uses so many city streets and that made me nervous. Mac was going to be with me but I knew that if I was really struggling, I would have to send him ahead to finish and I would just have to get on a bus.
I flew in to Orange County on Thursday so that I could go to the expo first thing Friday morning. I really wanted to get my hands on one of the Avengers Half edition Dooney and Bourke purses. Since I picked up an annual pass for both DL and WDW on my last Disney trip, I was able to wander around the park a little that afternoon and hit a few rides while I waited to meet up with Heather and Jackie for dinner. Friday morning, we were lucky that Heather was still on east coast time and couldn't sleep. She went down to the expo line an hour earlier than we had planned and found that the lines were already growing. We made it down and into the lines(Heather for the Dooney and Jackie and I for official merch) in time to have a good spot. We met people in line around us and spent 2 1/2 hours hanging out waiting to get in. Our waiting paid off because we were all able to get everything we were looking for at the expo before most of it was sold out that afternoon.
Mac flew in Saturday morning and we tried to take it easy after starting the day in DL until he arrived. Through a random chain of events, Heather, Jackie and I were able to visit the lounge at Club 33 in Disneyland. It was AMAZING and made the entire trip for us. Saturday afternoon, we had our traditional pizza from Naples in DTD and turned in for an early night before the race.

I love that DL races don't require such an early start. We were able to head out of our hotel about 45 minutes before the start time, get in our corrals and wait for the race to begin. I hate that the DL races have not adopted the new corral system. There were around 12,000 runners at this race since this was an inaugural event. In the first 6 corrals, there were approximately 850 people per corral. The rest of the runners were all in the last two corrals. That means over half of the participants were in two corrals at the end. They released the first six corrals two at a time(A&B, C&D, etc) Then they released G and H individually. There were TOO MANY PEOPLE in those last two corrals. It was insane. The first two miles of the race were the only miles that were in the parks, except the last mile which ran through the back lot of Disney California Adventures. That meant you had a ton of people on a very narrow course without much room to spread out. There was a guy that kept yelling that walkers needed to be on the right. That is proper race etiquette(though Disney race etiquette states walkers can be on either side to allow runners in the middle) but with the conditions, it was impossible to move to the right every time someone had a walk interval. The first time the guy yelled, we had just started and weren’t into DCA yet. The second time he yelled at everyone, we were in DCA heading into Cars Land. I am not a morning person, I am not a fan of crowds and I was nervous about the race. When he yelled the second time, I was at my breaking point so I yelled at him. I said “It’s not possible, so shut up.” Everyone around me laughed. I never heard him yell again. The great thing about yelling at the inconsiderate runner was that it helped me get out some of the pent up anxiety and I felt better after I did it.
We had started the race near Heather and Jackie but since we were doing different intervals, we ended up getting separated. Jackie had not been feeling well that morning and she was dealing with an ankle injury. Not too far into the second mile, I received a text from Heather that Jackie was in too much pain and was pulling herself from the course. Mac and I decided to wait for Heather to catch us so we could do the race together. We switched to Heather’s intervals of 20 second run and 40 second walk instead of the 1 minute intervals we had started with. I was glad to shorten the intervals since I knew I wasn’t trained well and I wasn’t sure how long I would last with our original intervals.
I felt pretty good as we made our way through the parks. The temps were nice and things were going well. Then we left the parks. As we got onto the streets of Anaheim, I started to understand the High Wind Advisory I had seen the night before when I checked the forecast. It called for sustained winds of 25-40 mph with gusts of 60-70mph. They weren’t joking. Not far into mile 3, the wind was howling. Posters were being ripped out of spectators hands and flying into the course. I saw a giant palm limb (at least 10 feet long) flying across a parking lot headed straight for the street full of runners. Fortunately, there was a security guard that saw it and stopped it before it could take anyone out. For the beginning of the street course, we were dealing with crosswinds. Around mile four, the course turned and then it was a head wind. Running into winds of those speeds was insane. Sometimes you felt like you weren’t moving. We also started seeing the toll they were taking on the course. Barriers were in piles on the side of the road instead of standing. Mile markers were torn apart or missing by the time we ran by. When strong gusts would kick up, you had to shield your face so you could breathe and to keep the sand from your eyes. My throat quickly became raw because no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t keep from breathing it in. Near the mile 5 water stop, they couldn’t keep the full cups of water on the table. They were being blown everywhere. With no hope of keeping it all contained waves of empty cups flew across the open parking lots around us. Between miles 6 and 9, there was a long stretch along the Santa Ana River that was a bike/running path. Because of the draught in California, there was no water, only dirt which quickly became even more dust in the air. The path was very narrow and there was still so much congestion from the poor corral breakdown that we had no choice but to walk. The only bright spots on this stretch were an awesome mural someone had painted at the entrance to the path that contained Thor and Captain America and the huge group of Cosplayers that came out in all of their Marvel character glory and cheered us on. There was a Loki there that could easily pass as Tom Hindleson’s younger brother and his costume was amazing. I hate that I did not get pictures of him or any of them because I was so focused on simply moving forward.
The path ended at the Anaheim stadium. I was glad to see some of the local runner support that I had experienced at Tink in the parking lot of the stadium. They were handing out red vines, pretzel rods and DONUTS. It was a very welcome snack during a very tough race. Running around the warning track was really cool but I knew there was a really good chance that the official pacers were catching us. After exiting the stadium, I made a quick pit stop at the next water station. I was praying that the port-o-potty I was in would not do what many others near it had. They were scattered all over the parking lot because they had been blown around by the wind. I quickly met back up with Heather and Mac as we headed away from the stadium. I found myself a little choked up as we passed a group of WWII reenactors and many veterans. I always love seeing the pride in Mac’s eyes when he sees those that have served before him.
As we were passing through the gates on the road out of the stadium, I heard people talking about the “balloon ladies” or the official pacers. They are the ones that start walking a 16 minute mile pace after the last person crosses the start line and if you cannot stay in front of them, you will be picked up or “swept”. I turned around and realized that they were only about 10 feet behind us. I freaked out and took off running. We had not been doing our intervals because of the congestion but we quickly started them back up. We had just over 3 miles to go and we were doing everything we could to put distance between us and the pacers. Every time we would stop to walk, I would ask Mac how far back they were.  We finally hit a few areas where we could no longer see them and I felt a little better. I knew I could not keep up that pace for the rest of the race but we need to get away from them. At around mile 11.5, we decided to just walk unless they caught us again because I was getting tired and my lungs were hurting from all the dust.
We were finally within sight of the parks again and I started to breathe a sigh of relief. I knew we should be hitting mile 12 soon after entering the back lot area but we never saw the sign. Turns out, it was destroyed by the wind like so many other mile markers that day. Finally, we left the back lot of DCA and crossed over Disney Way into the parking lot at Paradise Pier. I knew we were finally safe. We made our way past the hotels and to the finish line. I grabbed Mac’s hand and we crossed the finish. I immediately lost it. I was crying so hard I was having trouble breathing. I was so overwhelmed by emotions because I knew that if I had not been with Heather and Mac, I probably would have been swept. They helped push me when I was tired and distract me when I was frustrated. They kept me going when I didn’t think I could any more. I was so grateful to have them with me. I was so overwhelmed by the way God works and how he brought Heather into our lives.  Thanks to her and my loving husband, I was able to finish my 9^th half marathon.
We received our medals and made our way through the maze to get our food boxes, water and powerade. The thing I hate most about RunDisney races is the insanely long walk you have to do after finishing. This one was even worse than most because in order to get back around to our hotel, which we were in the parking lot of, we had to walk about a mile from the finish, through the exit area and then around the block to get back to a place that was about 100 yards from the finish line. I was tired and sore and PISSED to be walking so far after running over 13 miles in insane conditions. We finally made it back to the Disneyland hotel for our breakfast reservation where we had great food and some time to enjoy our accomplishment. We were able to meet back up with Jackie at breakfast. She had gotten her ankle taped up and was feeling a little better even though she was down about not being able to complete the race.

We ran(waddled) into DL after we ate to get pictures with a few characters and in front of the castle with our medals. Then Mac and I hit the pool and hot tub while the others went to the room to shower and change. We had big plans of closing down Disneyland that night after ice skating in Downtown Disney , having dinner and watching World of Color at California Adventures but while we were eating, we all nearly fell asleep in our food. We found out that we could swap the preferred viewing tickets we got with dinner to another night and we were all back in the room and in bed by 9pm instead of watching the 9:45 show and then partying in the parks until midnight. I have closed down the parks after every other DL race I have done but running in that wind all morning just took everything out of us. Monday and Tuesday were full of park time hitting everything we had not done in the days before the race and making sure we checked off all of our must do and see items.
All in all it was a great trip. The race was tough but I am glad I did it. I truly enjoyed the theme even though I was not a fan of the course. 10 of the 13 miles were off property and barely over a mile was actually inside either of the parks. I am interested to see what they plan to do for the Star Wars Half coming up in January and I hope to be more prepared for it once it rolls around. I’m so grateful I have the opportunity to do races like these with amazing people and I can’t wait until the next one.
Rebel Challenge, here I come.

Labor Day Road Race 2014

I traveled home to Georgia again to run the Labor Day Road Race in Macon. I made sure I was there in plenty of time this year instead of sprinting to the start like I did in 2011. I tried to warm up the best I could but the opening hill still killed my calves. They were so tight by the time I got to the top. I ended up stopping and pulling of my compression sleeves and trying to massage them out because the muscles were so tight they were restricting blood flow to my feet. I finally loosened up about half way in to the race. Everything was going ok but it was hot. The sun was killing me. It is one of the downfalls of running at night. The temps were actually about the same as when I run at night but the sun was baking me. I was feeling a little light headed as I got close to the 4 mile mark so I popped a couple pretzels in my mouth since I could see the next(and last) water stop at the bottom of the horrible hill at the end. When I go to the stop, they were out of water and I was livid. My mouth was so dry from running and then the pretzels made me almost choke. All I needed was a sip of water and they had NOTHING. I battled my way up the last hill, wanting so badly to just stop. I made it to the top and started taking advantage of the downhill for the last two miles. Every time I passed someone with a water bottle, I really wanted to ask if I could have some. Finally I reached the fire hydrant that they turn on for us and I took full advantage of it. I was SOAKING wet but I felt so much better. I finally felt good enough to really run the last mile or so and started passing several people that were loosing steam. I ran into the park and across the finish line with a time that was 10 minute better than in 2011. I really wanted an even better time and I know I could have ran better but things were just off that morning. It was nice to see that everything wasn't packed up when I finished this time and there were 10 people behind me instead of one. There was a group of girls handing out bottles of water with their church and I was very grateful since the race refreshments were no where near the finish. I grabbed the water and headed straight to the firetruck where they were spraying anyone that wanted it(mostly little kids). Rachel and I met back up, I grabbed a bagel, and we headed off to breakfast. Like I said before, it wasn't my best race, but I did improve from the last time I ran this race. One day, hopefully, I will be able to run it and feel great about it at the end of the day.

Finding a groove again

It has been a while since I have been running consistently. It has been hard with moving and losing motivation. Last week was the first time in several months that my RunKeeper log looked like this.

It felt good to be back out there. Now I just have to keep it up. I have a 10K coming up on Labor Day. I'm not expecting a great race since I got a later start than I wanted but I am hoping it will still be good.

I've let myself go too much in the last 7 months. I have regained more weight than I ever wanted to and I am trying to get it off again. I've been so disgusted and disappointed with myself that it has been hard to refocus like I should. I have had the old fears and doubts nagging me saying that it's just not possible but I know it is.

I think I am going to need to take a break from the weight lifting or at least scale it back. I really want my focus to be running again so that I can train well and succeed at Avengers in November. I keep going back and forth with what all I am planning to do. A while ago, I posted this pic on the blog's facebook page when I posted about getting serious.

I'm still using it to help me move forward, but there is a reason everything is on stickers. They are removable, so I can move them around or just throw them out if I find that it is just too much. Every time I open it up, I tweak something. But that is how I have found success in the past. Any time that I had something too rigid, I would get frustrated and just give up, but allowing myself to make changes and adapt has helped me move forward. I am trying to get back into eating the right things on the right days. I still need to get more protein but I'm working on it.

I'm hoping to post more again. I know I have said that before but I really do want to do it. I have just felt so bad about how things have been going, I felt like I had no right to post anything. When in reality, these are the times I need to post the most. So I can work through my struggles and stop just hiding from the world.

There is a lot of uncertainty around the next several months for us. Mac is applying to grad schools and waiting on answers so he can make a decision and let the Army know. Then we will have to figure out another move quickly. By the end of the year, we will no longer be here but I have no idea where we will be headed. Uncertainty is bad for me. It causes me anxiety and that leads to bad habits. I am trying to break through some of that by focusing on what I can control and what I do know. No matter where we are in January, I still have a 10K on Sept 1 and 14th, a half on Oct 18th and another in California on Nov 16th and I really want to be prepared for them. I really want to feel like a runner again.

But first, I need new shoes...

And that will be a post of its own very soon.

Weight Lifitng Stage One = DONE!

So I had plans for a big post at the end of stage one recapping the first phase of the program and telling you how it all went but then all hell broke loose. Well, actually just the tailgate to be exact.

I finished stage one while I was home in Georgia helping out a friend and visiting family. I was planning to write my post the week of July 4th which was my rest week between one and two. I never got around to it though because on July 2nd, as my parents were leaving North Georgia where we had been for a few days, the tailgate of my dad's truck fell open and my suitcase, containing all of my clothes for the two week trip, fell out and was swiped before he could stop and grab it. I was in my car on the way to Atlanta on a different road. My parents were taking my stuff with them so that I would not have a truck full of luggage to tempt thieves. Turns out some one is more likely to steal your suitcase on mountain roads in North Georgia. I was almost a week away from returning home so I had to start replacing clothes quickly, which included four of my beloved SparkleSkirt running skirts. Because of all this craziness, I never got around to writing my post. Now I am back with the hubby and pups and two weeks into stage two which means I am half way done with it.

Stage one was really great and a learning experience. I learned how to do lots of exercises I had heard of but never attempted. I learned that eating protein while weightlifting is VERY important. Days when I did my workouts but did not have enough protein, I would wake up the next day completely exhausted because my body did not have what it needed to rebuild my muscle. Stage one is six weeks long. It consists of two workouts that are alternated three times a week. You do each workout 8 times each and increase the difficulty every two weeks. The last week is filled in with two special workouts that include the same exercises you have been doing but you drop back to the original weight used and complete as many reps as possible to see how you have improved.

I really enjoyed the stage as a whole even though I did prefer one workout over the other. I had originally hoped to throw a few runs in there but I never was really consistent with that part. Instead I focused on my strength and developing a good base for the rest of the program. After the craziness that went on during my rest week, I had a hard time really getting motivated and getting started on Stage two. I also ended up leaving Georgia a day later than I had planned so that interfered with my MWF workout plan.

I finally got settled back in here and adjusted my calendar a little to allow me an extra day to get started but not throw off every stage after this one. One of the good things is that you don't have to take a rest week after each of these next few stages because they are much shorter, only 4 weeks. The break between 2 and 3 will be just a little shorter than the breaks between 3, 4 and 5. I must admit though, I am not loving the workouts in stage two. I have to start running this week to do the full training program for Avengers and this stage is VERY leg intensive. As part of the B workout, you are supposed to finish with 15 minutes of interval training, which would be fine but my legs are burnt out by the time I get done so doing a higher intensity interval run is tough. It got a little easier this week but it is still a tough set of workouts.

Tomorrow night will be my first training run for Avengers. It's just 3 miles but it will be my first real run in a while. I'm swapping my run and workout night so that I can take advantage of the awesome weather we are supposed to have tomorrow before it starts to warm back up this weekend. I'm still figuring out how all of this is going to work. I am definitely not going to over do it on my long training runs. They will be slow and steady to get the miles in. I am hoping the strength training will help with my speed even when I am not going fast in my running. I'm also trying to refocus on my eating because I have let that slide for way to long. I need to clean it up again and start focusing on good lean protein on my lifting days and smart carb choices for my long training runs without over doing it.

Mac and I are planning an anniversary trip to Disney this fall. I remember where I was when I went last year and I am hoping by some miracle, maybe I get get back there by the time we go this year. I hate that I have to do all that work again but I am also not surprised because some of how I got there was the wrong way and I am really trying to do it right this time. Either way, it will be nice celebrating my anniversary at California Grill with my husband this year instead of from afar.